Many of you know me for my journey through addiction and recovery.
What many people don’t know is that alongside that journey, I’ve always had a deep fascination with true crime — not for the headlines or the shock value, but for one simple reason:
The human mind.
Why on earth do we do what we do?
I can understand mistakes. I can understand accidents. I can even understand moments of poor judgement under pressure.
But what happens when behaviour goes beyond that?
When does something shift from a one-off decision… into a pattern?
When does a pattern become a need?
And when does that need become something a person feels unable to control?
In addiction, we see this clearly.
Something starts as relief.
Then it becomes repetition.
Then it becomes something that feels necessary.
But what happens when that same pattern appears in other behaviours?
This is where my interest deepened.
The minds of serial offenders — and the psychology behind extreme behaviour — led me to study psychology, criminology, forensic science, and behavioural patterns more closely.
Not to excuse or justify harm.
But to understand it.
Because the question isn’t just:
“What did they do?”
The question is:
“What was happening underneath it?”
Is it addiction?
Is it compulsion?
Is it a search for control, power, or relief?
Is it an attempt to fill something that feels missing?
Or is it something else entirely?
These are uncomfortable questions — but they are important ones.
Because when we understand behaviour, we begin to see patterns.
And those patterns don’t just exist in extreme cases.
They exist, in quieter forms, in everyday life:
- in addiction
- in repetition
- in secrecy
- in the ways people cope, avoid, or escape
This is something I’ll be exploring much more deeply in my upcoming book series:
Why We Kill, Why We Use
and future titles in the Why We… series.
These books will look at the links between addiction, compulsion, escalation, and human behaviour — not from a place of judgement, but from a place of understanding.
Because real change doesn’t come from shame.
It comes from understanding what’s actually driving behaviour in the first place.
🌿 Final thought
You don’t have to be at the extreme end of behaviour to recognise patterns.
Most of us, at some point, will feel:
- stuck in repetition
- pulled towards something we know isn’t helping
- unsure why we keep doing what we do
Understanding that is where change begins.
📸 Photo: Natalia Blauth / Unsplash